Tag Archives: Orlando Bloom

Throwback Movie: Troy (2004)

I’ll never forget how Paris horniness doomed his city.

Or, how brave Hector was defending his honor until his last breath.

Or, how Brad Pitt’s Achilles was a constant torn in King Agamemnon’s flesh.

Or, how Menelaus stupidly died defending his bruised ego.

Or, how Hector’s cousin, Briseis, had a chance to end Achilles’s life and, in turn, the war, but couldn’t resist the urge to jam his genital instead.

Or, how Diane Krueger’s beauty as Helen of Troy didn’t measure up to Paris’. If the switch was flipped, believe me when I say Orlando Bloom would still be finer.

But the biggest thing I’ll never forget, even though so many years has passed, is how dumb the people of Troy were and how they thought it wise to drag in a mysterious giant statue into their city, while at war. Dumb folks with a dumber King!

That’s quite the rant.

Your turn.

What’s your favorite memory from the movie Troy?